


Lil's Giant Book of Shitty SelfShip

by misspelledflower



Category: Camp Camp (Web Series), Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Axe kills Lil, Baking, Camp Camp - Freeform, Cc daniel - Freeform, Comfort, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cute, Drabbles, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gore, Heavy Angst, Horror, HorrorTale, I Tried, I forgot me and Berry's date, Meat Potato Stew is all angst, Multi, Murder, Polyamory, RIP, Romance, Self Insert, Self Ship, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Insert, Self-Worth Issues, Swapfell, Tags will grow as more fics are added, Underfell, Yandere, also it's short, also that spicy baked potatoes chapter is longest so far, be careful kiddos, body issues, but probably the worst written, cc david - Freeform, chapter 3 is angst and blood, fellswap, literally probably Meat Potato Stew will never have a happy ending, self hatred, there's murder in the camp camp chapter, trash like me, underswap - Freeform, undertale - Freeform, vent - Freeform, wh00ps, yeah but it has lots of blood in it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-10
Updated: 2017-10-09
Packaged: 2018-12-26 02:21:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12049305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misspelledflower/pseuds/misspelledflower
Summary: Watch as ya boi from @potatosharem or @woahitsjustagiantharem known as Lil romances and cuddles a bunch of Skeletons, Flamemen, Spiders, and Fish.Also I have a new found love for Camp Camp, so i'll be falling head over heels for the Cult Man wh00psThis is 100% self ship, not x Reader y'all so beware of my trash, it's all mostly 3 am writing, and comfort fluff





	1. Classish (Ishy/Lil x Sans)

**Author's Note:**

> I got a snas jacket in the mail today and I thought this was pretty fitting and yes, I wore it while writing this trash.
> 
> The name Lil is used here, not Ishmael or Ishy

I always have felt really insecure about my body. Even though he provided me alot of comfort, Sans couldn't truly stop the never ending cycle of self hatred in my mind. My body is fat and gross. I have handles, giant thighs, and my tummy hangs over my pants line. Why wouldn't he leave me for someone better? I could name a long list of suiters for him that weren't just physically better but smarter, more talented and mature than I. Why did he really stay with me when I'm not worth really anything at all? It's probably one of the world's biggest mysteries. Eventually it's gonna happen... I'm going to be alone again, he'll be lured off by a nice person and then my heart will once again be shattered to dust. 

Right now those thoughts of self hatred and abandonment were thrown carelessly to the side, as they should be but, normally aren't handled as so. My vertebae Sans had left for a couple hours to God Knows Where. Curiously he had left his favorite jacket behind in a rush to get out the door to were he was called to. I wonder, what was wrong that it got him to move that quickly? Oh well, I would ask him later. 

Brrrrr! It's cold as Antarctica during the God damn winter in here! It should've been expect though as we do live in Snowdin, the coldest place in the entire underground. I signed up for this when I elected to stay with the skeleton brothers. So really i can't complain all too much now can i? It would be nice to have something to keep me warm beside this thin blanket. Ugh, but going from the old green couch to upstairs is so haaaaaaard when it's this fucking c0lD. My head leans over the arm of the couch and it hangs down. I can feel the blood rushing to it as I glare the stairs down. Kicking my legs stubbornly I hoped that the heating would kick on soon. 

Wait... Sans Jacket!

I sit up harshly and with vigor at the idea. Taking a second to bend over oddly off the couch a little and grab my pinkish reddish glasses from the floor so I could see. Slipping them on I scanned the room for the said article of clothing. It took me a mintue to find it as I'm rather dull but on the kitchen table not that many paces away it sat. Lazily slung over a chair which probably gave it more wrinkles than it already had. When was the last time the old thing was ironned? Only God know. Only God knows.

Getting up was much harder than expected. But the fact I was in nothing but my over sized tee shirt severed as a good motive to get me off the couch. My back cracked as I stood up and wobbled my best to the table. Walking was much harder than expected but, eh, it could be worse couldn't It? These Legs tingled with tiredness as I tried to get there and back again. Getting to the table I hastily snatched up the jacket and threw it on my body. Instantly I felt the soft and smooth fabric along with the fluffy trim on the hood. Heating up a bit more my body felt warmer and better, but I had to get back to the couch and under that thin blanket to cover my cold little leggies. 

Running back to the couch with the jacket now I giggle like a small child and hide under the worn red blanket. It's awfully ironic due to my soul being of determination origin. A cute little coincidence indeed. Mettaton plays softly on the Television as I get re-adjusted on the sofa again. Sighing softly in contentment I fall into the trance of the silly reruns of the stars shows. After maybe 15 minutes of this I tilted my head to the side a little and gave a big sniff to Sans jacket. Shockingly enough it didn't smell alot like ketchup. While I will admit there was the smell there it was a noticeable as I thought it would be. Mostly it smelt of old paper, snow, and pine trees with a slight hint of smoke I predict he got from Grillby's. It's not an unpleasant smell. It's actually quite comforting.

The fact that the jacket is slightly too big for my fat ass and also smells wonderful?? I couldn't be more happy at that moment. It was a wonderful, fuzzy feeling. I hoped that Sans would forget it much more often after that. Relaxing and sinking back into the couch I let the next couple of hours fly by as my mind wandered off to a distant place that allowed me to giggle to myself occasionally and swing my socked feet a little. I felt cute for once, even if I knew it wasn't true, my heart and my body couldn't process that with the giddy feeling this stupid old jacket brought about. Maybe it was because it was from my boyfriend. Is this the cheesy stuff they show on the movies? Probably is but I couldn't care less.

Suddenly my eyes got heavy and I looked over at the clock, it read 4:00pm. God, how long had he been gone? Papyrus wasn't home either... I wonder what was going on with them at work. I mean sure Sans worked til 4:50 But he didn't pop in once, not even to make me return his jacket. Speaking of which I wonder what his reaction would be to me having it on right now. Probably he would laugh and then ask for it back. That sounds like him, the goober.

After another long 50 minutes i hear the door open quietly, that absolutely had to be Sans 100%, even on his bad days Papyrus would make an entrance or atleast call out to let you know he was there. Why didn't Sans just teleport in like usual? Turning around so I could face the door there stood my Punny bone man, minus his jacket. Leaving him just in his thin white long sleeve shirt. It felt weird to see him without his jacket, like he was bare or missing something. " Mwehe... Heya Babe... Lookin' sharp. "

He said this as he snapped his fingers and teleported beside me, I offered him some of the red blanket and he gladly took it. Letting out a breath of air he lets his eyes roam to me. A goofy grin breaks out over his skeletal face. " Ya ain't looking too bad yourself." I shoot back at him with a shy smile, averting my grey orbs so I can feel slightly less embarrassed. I hoped I would've let the jacket go before he got home but I hadn't the will to do so. 

Sitting up slightly he turns his torso towards me in the corner of the couch. Leaning forward he inspects my form, the grin somehow getting wider and more giddy like I had been before. "... Lil you are absolutely a-door-able." We both chuckle at that silly pun. Slowly he reaches up and cups my face, his finger softly rubbing it, forcing me to look him in the eyes. A shitty Mettaton love song played in the background. My god my life really I s a cliche romance movie, isn't it? 

" How did I get someone as beautiful and wonderful as you?" He asks himself quietly, leaning in further. I personally believe he was high on some new fucking drug. My hair was still up in a messy bun from my shower that morning and I lacked pants or any other clothing besides the tee shirt and the fluffy blue jacket. His fluffy blue jacket. Slowly his eyes shifted to stars as a red blush covered my face heavily bit by bit. " How did I get someone as funny and kind as you? " I shoot back at him to fluster him in return. It worked and a blue covered his cheek bones too. My smile grew a bit more and I wrapped my arms around his neck.

Doing this I pulled him down into my chest and arranged the blanket over him properly. I didn't need to know what had happened today at work or anywhere else. Becaude in reality? It didn't matter. What mattered was right now. This soft little moment is what we both needed. His hands move up and gently grasp the fabric of his jacket. Rubbing it gently I look down to see him grinning once again like a fool. " You should steal my jacket more often, pretty lady. " he teases and looks up slightly at me, feigning innocence. " Eh, I should right? It smells nice and it's warm too. " I comment and smooch the top of his head.

"... thanks babe... " he mumbles and closes his eyesockets. Sans stops rubbing the jacket and let's his arms go limp and touch the floor. " Thanks for what, hun?" I inquire about him. What was the use of thanks? What I had done to earn It? This was a confusing situation for me indeed. I can hear him take a deep breath and sigh loudly. " For putting up with this ol' sack o'bones. " he starts and let's his head nuzzle my chest. " For lovin' me despite everythin', ya could really do so much better babe. " he confesses with a furrowed brow. " Ya pretty, smart, and cool as heck, why stick around with me?"

I couldn't help but chuckle at his questions and description of myself. Pretty? God he must be extremely tired then. I reach my hand up and begin to gently rub his head when I reassure him. " You're pretty great too hun, " I begin to tell him with a small smile. " You got puns for days, funny pick up lines, and a odd charm about ya, I wouldn't give you up for the world. " after saying this he hummed contently and I bent over slightly to smooch his skull. Leaning back on the arm again I was lulled off to dream land by the sound of terrible comedy shows and my lovers steady breathing.

As I doze Sans lifts his head and smirks, wrapping an arm around their neck and pulling himself up he rests higher up and leaves the other to it's work on the couch cusion, getting comfy. Listening to Lil's heart beat his smirk grows.

'This pretty, sweet lil' thing...' he thought to himself as his eye lids got heavy as well. 'They're all m i n e.' The realization that the was real hit him as he laid there. No one could take this from him now. It was them and Papyrus. He was content with the idea, cherishing it fully. Now, he gets his happy ending. And it's better than he thought previously possible. It wouldn't disappear from him now, he wouldn't have to let them go or say goodbye again. This would last forever.

Well, maybe not forever. As nothing lasts quite that long. But it'll last a very, very long time, won't it?


	2. Sweet Potatoes [Lil x Underswap!Sans]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of these just end with cuddles and kisses, don't they? But Berry's tea game is str0nk af.  
> Please comment or leave at least a kudos! I get sososo happy everytime i see one! more so when i see them on this of all things!
> 
> hmu on @imagine-your-potato on tumblr!

Blueberry was having a great day so far. Train with Alphys went very well and Stretch wasn’t being all that lazy, and Muffet had given him this drink called ‘coffee’ earlier. While his little brother wasn’t too happy about it, he liked it! But maybe a Small next time instead of an Extra Large would do better on his stomach. Everything was going very well! Though no other humans had fallen yet to see his puzzles, his datemate, Lil was always excited about them. Trying their best to do them, even though they frequently got confused and tired. Blueberry did appreciate their efforts to support him!

Oh no! Speaking of his datemate he had forgotten all about them in the hustle of the morning rush! They were home all alone all day! Berry felt absolutely terrible about that. So, he changed his pace from a nice walk into a full out sprint. Trying his hardest to get home as quickly as possible. The short skeleton was a little out of breath when he stomped onto the porch. Knocking his brow furrowed when he didn’t get a response. So, he kicked down the door!

“ DATEMATE! DATEMATE I’M SO SORR- “

… they stood, still in their robe. A cup of tea in their right hand and the other reaching for a freshly baked cinnamon roll on the counter. Short hair still messy, in tangles. They didn’t even have their glasses on! “ Umm, B-Babe? What the… “ squinting their eyes they sat down their mug and turned towards the clock. “... Oh my g o d, it’s… it’s 3:00 in the afternoon! “ they squeak and facepalm. God, they really needed to kick that sleeping in habit. Also, staying up late too wasn’t helping much either.

Berry stood their with a blank face. He had been so worried that they’d feel neglected! Or even abandoned! And, they had… just gotten… out of bed? Suddenly, his face shifts into a bright face and he begins to giggle. Then it turns into a laugh that gets louder and more cheerful. Berry realized the utter irony of the situation and couldn’t stop laughing. He had been w o r r i e d. Of course they were still getting ready! Why did he expect anything else from them? They were a bit of a lazybones too. Not as bad as his brother though.

Eventually they started snickering as well. “ Sorry babe, I wanted to get up early to see ya back, but hehehe… “ he then realized they had forgotten their date! “ Human! Do not tell me you forgot our date? “ they tilt their head at him. “ We had a d… oh my g o d Berry Babe I’m sososo sorry oh-” they began to panic at this Staying up late trying to work wasn’t the brightest idea when this was on the agenda. Lil stripped their robe off and began to start up the stairs. 

Well, they were until Berry grabbed their arm and turned them around to see his beaming face. “ Human! Do not worry! The Magnificent Sans isn’t mad at all! I know you have been working hard, unlike my lazybones of a brother! And trying your best! “ a sigh of relief escapes them as they wrap their arms around his shoulders and kissed him gently. “ Thank you Babe, I… I’m sorry I forgot about it. You’ve been working twice as hard-“

Smooch! He cuts off their ramble and nuzzles their cheek gently. Putting a hand on the back of their head and gently rubbing he says, “ Do not worry! If you’re still tired we can stay in! I, the Magnificent Sans! Do not mind catering to your needs as you do so much to mine too! “ he tells them. Another sigh of relief. “ Okay… I’m going to make this up to you though hun. “ they tell him firmly while he wraps their legs around his waist and carries them to the couch. Plopping them down he turns around and scrambles into the kitchen. Humming a little, upbeat, and happy tune under his metaphorical breath to lighten the atmosphere. 

Boiling up a kettle of water he searches the cabinets for some nice, light tea. Seeing the now cold cup from before on the counter he puts it in the sink as he pulls out the container of tea. Stretch has bought a few new bottles of honey so he cracks open a new one and puts a little bit in the bottom of the two mugs. Then a little bit of cinnamon and sugar to sweeten it some more. Plus a bit more flavor. The kettle begins to whistle. Taking it off the burner Berry opens it and pours half into each glass, sets in a tea bag, then waits for a couple minutes. The TV plays a DJ Napstaton rerun quietly and he smiles. Yeah, that picnic could wait a week or two. After a busy day maybe he needed this more than a active outing… when was the last time they had both taken a moment to do this? The calm atmosphere and just being together?

The tea is done, it tears him from his thoughts and he throws the bags into the trash. Giving them both a stir for good measure he picks them up and brings them into the living room. “ I return with a nice cup of tea, Human! “ he announces and passes it to them. Already they’re wrapped up in a ironically blue blanket. Though it was a darker shade than his bandana, bordering navy. Sitting his mug on the coffee table in front of the couch just as Lil had done he uses his now free hands to situation the blanket to cover him while he sat down. Then he wrapped his arms around their waist, skull resting on their shoulder. A content hum came from him as he watched the TV screen. Enjoying the softness and natural warmth of his partner.

“ Thanks, hun… “ they say softly while turning their head to rest on his too. A arm wrapping around his shoulders. Lil very much enjoyed these moment. They just wished they could have them much more often. “ Mwehehe! “ chuckles Berry while moving his head back so he can graze their cheek with his teeth. “ So, how was work today? “ they inquire.

Berry launches animatedly into his tale and adventures of the day. Eyes shining a bright blue. The entire late afternoon and evening filled with tales and exchanges little inside jokes. Until they both finally drifted off into a dozy like sleep. Cuddling close together. Small smiles on both of their faces.

Of course when he came in, Stretch snapped a picture of the adorable scene and posted it instantly to his SnapChat story. Most certainly at least saved it to memories. With a punny caption Blue would scold him for later for sure. But right now? He couldn’t stop the grin growing larger and larger on his face.


	3. Meat Potato Stew (Most Lil x Axe, but a hint of Lil x Teeth)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This contains death, blood, angst, and eating of human corpses. You have been warned.
> 
> Follow my imagines blog!: @imagine-your-potato
> 
> Enter Angst Hell

“ Can’t you see why…”

Slash!

A ear piercing scream and more calls and begging for mercy. Hoping so terribly that Papyrus would hear or that his sanity would return for but a moment. They scramble back farther and farther, they knew running was useless. Tears fell from their bright grey eyes and blood matted their once nice hair. Axe knew what the result of his actions would be. But he couldn’t stop. They were hungry. Papyrus was hungry. He was hungry.

Everyone was starving.

He had never seen true fear in their eyes before, now that he did it made him sick to his stomach. Tears gathered at the corners of his eyes but, he willed them never to fall. This was the way it had to be. Nothing could change this cycle. No matter how much he loved them. No matter how much his soul screamed for him to please stop. He was falling apart…

“ Sweetheart please stop fighting…”

Crack!

They fall into the snow. Crimson draining from them and stain the fluffy white crystals that they had loved to play and lay around in. The once happy place below the trees is now stained with their blood. Axe can remember holding them tightly in his arms as his brother pet their hair. That was back when humans frequently fell. Back when everything was better than it was now. Undyne was cracking down on them so hard that the last time anyone had eaten was… god… maybe a month or two ago. 

“ I don’t want this…”

Slam!

Lil pushes him back before he can raise his axe to finish them off. Despite their head wound, that ironically falls into the same spot his is, they move back and push against him. Axe stumbles before regaining his composer. He’s more aggressive and forceful now towards them. It appears the grey SOUL whom he called lover had some Determination left in them from all those years ago when it faded.

“ I don’t want to kill you! “

His soul is damaged from years of loss and forgotten times. They came and help try and fix those cracks. Lil made the pain diminish a lot more than he’d ever admit. Now the cracks struck back, growing more and more with every cry of pain they made and every swing he took. Why was he feeling like this? Shouldn’t he be happy? They wouldn’t have to starve to death and he and Teeth could finally eat! 

No, this feeling…

Is this…

R-Regret?

He lifted them up by the throat, they can’t get away now. They try so hard to get his hand off from around their neck. Kicking and trying to scream. Swearing, calling for Teeth, and choking out soft ‘I love you’s from the deadly grip around their airway. A large crack forms around the top of his SOUL and soon reaches the middle… 

He doesn’t know how much more he can take of this horrible feeling.

Axe never lets it show. His eye is unblinking and his smile never ever wavers as he tightens his grip. The edges of their face begin to turn a dark shade and their protests grow gradually quieter and breath is drawn from them. Blood running down from their head stained his bones and jacket sleeve. Pink glasses long since gone… maybe he stepped on them in the snow… oh well. It was a good thing they couldn’t see now. As if you looked close enough maybe light red tears were beginning to form at the edges of his eyesockets. 

SnAp!

And they were gone…

Why… why why why why why…

Why does it hurt so much?

Why did he have to fall in love with a human. Why did all of this happen to them all. What did they do to deserve a fate like this? To die at the hands of a real monster, one they had loved so unconditionally. God, why the hell does fate always in the worst way possible? 

Whywhywhywhywhywhywhy

Oh, but the tears never fall. He just drags them to the back of the house like he did any other human and throws them into a large pot. Trying to hold it together and not pass out of disgust and horror. Hehehe, even at times like these his head came out with puns. Not too shocking or above him honestly. Axe is just trying so hard to hide the fact he’s crumbling away inside. Then a thought hits him…

“ What’s Paps gonna think of me now? “

Of course he had eaten humans before but this one was the first to not show fear to him. To love Teeth despite his demeanor and try to help him. One they had both laughed with a loved so much. But oh god he was too hungry to think about that. Teeth would be too hungry to as well. Until he was satisfied for awhile and the reality hit them both of what he had done. Right now? Well, right now what had just conspired didn’t matter. All that mattered was feeding themselves for awhile…

Right?

 

….. And that was then end of them.


	4. Spicy Baked Potatoes (Edge x Lil x Stretch)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I threw this together after wanting some Selfship fluff with these boys at sc00l. I tried beware terrible writing and grammatical errors.  
> Also we kinda fluster Edge.
> 
> Check out my imagines blog! @imagine-your-potato

Stretch draped himself lazily over the couch. A pixie stix between his teeth and not the standard cigarette. He didn’t like the stereotypical versions of himself that constantly smoked. The sweeter Papyrus side in him didn’t allow for that. Plus, his bro would throw the biggest fit known to the aus if he did anywhere near the house. So he’d settle for the candy powered wrapped in a long, tiny sleeve of paper.

Now, Edge was busy about the kitchen with their partner, Lil. They try their very best to guide him along the process of making brownie correctly but, it’s most certainly a giant struggle. ‘’ Oh my God Edge ya don’t put frikkin glass in food! “ he scoffs and looks down at his short partner. “ The Terrible Edge knows exactly what he’s doing!” he insists as Lil keeps the glass and glitter away from his reach. This makes him hiss. “ Babe are you trying to kill me!?!” they ask him with a furrowed brow. He scoffs once more in return but, gives up trying to get the things he ‘needs’. 

“ Just follow the damn instructions! “ “ But then I cannot show my Terrible and Greatness through it!” “ Ohmygod you’re so frikkin stuBBorn-”

The lazy orange themed skeleton found his partners banter highly amusing. Going as far as to switch the side of the couch he was leaning on to the side closer to the kitchen. He was able to hear them struggle much better. Hopefully, they didn’t set the oven on fire again. Or somehow blow up the fridge in the process of trying to teach Edge how to cook. Maybe letting Lil wear his orange hoodie while they tried to work with the more stubborn skeleton wasn’t the best idea. Blue would be able to get the stains out though so it would be okay. 

After another hour of struggling to make the brownies at least edible and teach their edgy boyfriend something Lil finally put the brownies in the oven and set the timer for 25 minutes. Edge pouts at how long they will now take to get done but, he waits anyways. He knows their patience is running very thin after all that. So he elects to help them clean up. The kitchen is covered in various layers of flour, chocolate chips. Cocoa powder, and sugar. Grabbing a wash rag he wipes down all the messy surfaces while they put up the things they used. (And sneakily threw away the glitter and glass supplies, which he didn’t notice until a few days after.) The two only had a few large dishes left over so they put them to soak overnight in soapy, warm water. So washing them would be easier. 

Clean up was done and they had killed 15 minutes worth of time. Good. Edge casts a glance and a little glare over his shoulder to Stretch. Who hasn’t stopped smiling at them yet. He shoots his other partner through droopy eyelids. Edge shakes his head at the lazybones… but he had to admit Stretch looked pretty good in just his black tank top. A light blush covered his face so he looked at his small partner. Lil wore Stretch’s orange hoodie, it went down to their knees and he was fairly certain they were just using it as a dress. The sleeves hung way over their hands and the thing fell a little of their shoulders. 

His blush grew.

Oh dang it, both of them are cute and h0t ugggggHHHHHHH

“ Heya Edgy, “ Stretch starts and gains the darker versions attention instantly. “ If ya were words on a page, ya would be FINE print. “ Edge chokes while the lazy skele shoots him a wink. He tries to scoff and starts to walk back to the kitchen. Before he can Lil catches him by the arm and looks up at him cutely. The blush is now covering his face entirely. Damn it, these two loved seeing him flustered, didn’t they? “ you know what this hoodie is made out of? “ they ask and he furrows his brow. Thinking for a second he responds “ Cotton Obviously! Stretch has sensitive bones and he doesn’t like harsh fabric! “ “ That’s true, but nah. “ they alert him. His confusion grows until oh wait n-

“ It’s actually made of boyfriend material.”

There’s no hiding this blush. Who ever thought the Great and Terrible Edge would be so easy to fluster. Then again it was also fairly late at night too so maybe the tiredness had something to do with it. Pulling away from them he walks into the kitchen just as the timer goes off. Perfect timing indeed as usual. A heavenly smell wafts from the oven when he opens it and covers the kitchen. Gradually it goes out to the living room and the scent catches Stretch’s metaphorical nose. Of course he’s instantly teleported to the kitchen the second Edge sets the brownie on the stove to cool. Lil walks in after a few more minutes themself and prevent the two boys from eating it all just yet.

“ It’s gotta cool guys, otherwise it won’t cut right! “ they insist and Edge instantly disagrees. “ That makes no sense! “ “ Hey! I’m not the one who can’t even boil pasta correctly! “ “ I Do it the fast way! “ he insists as they facepalm. “ Yeah, Yeah sure whatever… Just go sit at the table ya big baby. “ their tone takes on a more teasing nature during the last line. Edge does as he’s told and sits in a nearby chair. Looking at the clock he sees it’s already midnight. This almost makes him choke. He’s got work tomorrow! Shoot! “ Ugh! You’ve All Kept Me Up So Late! “ he states.

Stretch takes the pixie stix out of his teeth and throws it into a nearby trash can. “ Already called in for ya, ya gotta long weekend now. “ says his orange counterpart. “ … What? “ God he’s too tired for this! He’s head of the King’s Royal Guard he can’t be off that long! “ Ya heard ‘im right babe, Don’t worry we got it sorted out. We wanna spend more time with ya. This is a poly hun, not just me and Stretchy boi. “ they explain while kissing his forehead and slipping him a frosted brownie. Oh! So that’s why they wanted them to leave it be! So they could sneakily ice it! Clever Human!

All in all he doesn’t respond, but just looks down at his treat. Lil proceeds to give him a few more smooches. Normally he would protest but his shock and tired body didn’t will him to do so. Also, the affection was just pretty nice after all that. Stretch gets his next and then they take one for themselves. Then he notices how he’s positioned right between them, but they aren’t uncomfortably close either. 

After a long period of science he mutters softly, “ Thank you. “ and that’s the end of it. Both of them knew better than to push. Lil finishes first. Even though they had been the last one to sit down and start eating the speed at which they did made up for it. So they threw the disposable plate in the trash and decided to chug what was left of the container of milk. Their edgy boyfriend looks over at them with horror. “ HOW ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING! “ he shouts and leans a little bit away from them in seat. Stretch is snickering at him. “ What? Not like anyone else is gonna drink out of it! “ they try and defend themself with a small smile. Another thing is tossed into the trash can and they lay down on the floor.

Stretch looks down at them and since the kitchen isn’t too big he reaches over with his foot and pokes their side. “ Hey Honey. “ he calls them by their pet name, “ Ya feelin’ alright? “ he inquires and they get a grunt in response. Oops, maybe that was too much sugar for them in a day. As they had shared a little bag of candies only a couple hours ago. He’s finished so he just leaves the plate there, Edge huffs at that but watches as his other partner lays beside the smallest one of them. “... I love you two… “ They mumble. Stretch lays next to them and nods. “ We love ya too, honey, don’t worry. “ 

While he would never join them on the kitchen floor of all places, internally he would agree the the scene was adorable. But they can’t stay there all night. “ At Least get to a couch you two! “ he scolds as Stretch looks up and winks at him. Zip! Both of them are gone and a oof! Comes from the living room. Of course they’re on the couch, those potatoes.

But deep down, he knows he’s thankful for them. Memes and all. So he joins them eventually, after all, Red or Blue aren’t home so what harm could it do? 

It seems he has forgotten about the wonder that is SnapChat. I’ll leave it up to you to imagine his reaction. Hehehehehehee...


	5. R E S E T

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably the most poorly written one so far, but it was an idea and I couldn't stop myself
> 
> Find me over on @imagine-your-potato babes
> 
> Angst ahead

He pulled me into his chest, chuckling at a stupid joke I had made a second ago. Sans hand rain through my messy light brown hair. Letting his fingers wind in it and feel the plush softness. Dang, magic conditioner works wonders on the worst human hair. Pressing his teeth to my head he tilted my chin up so I could no longer hide my face in his jacket. “... You’re a-door-able, babe. “ he says with a grin and smooches my lips this time. Giggling I return the favor and kiss his cheek lightly. “ oh you’re too sweet, hun. “ I mumble with a cloudy and dreamy look in my far off distant eyes.

This was perfect. I could wish for nothing more.

Wrapping an arm around my shoulders Sans guides me through the snow to the town. Making inside jokes and puns all the way along. It was a beautiful snowy night. Set dead only a few weeks before Gyftmas. So lights were a strung more so than usual. The tree at the center of the town done up nicer than before. A happy and content warmth filled my heart as he pulled me in for another kiss. Damn, he was affectionate tonight… maybe it was the loving mood of the season that triggered it. That was my hope. Reality? He probably had another vivid nightmare. I’d get it out of him later. For now I would soak it all in, even as my eyelids dropped as a clock struck midnight.

I couldn’t wait to snuggle in bed with Papyrus again. That was always really nice…  
God, did I just yawn? I’m tired as heck.

.  
.  
.

*R E S E T

.  
.  
.

“ Heya, dollface. “ Red looks a lot grumpier than normal as he sits next to me on the couch. Almost sneering as he looks at me. “ What bitter bones? “ I ask in return with a shitty glare. I can see a smile twitch at the corners of his mouth at this. Because apparently when I did so it was adorable. So I continued for a couple more minutes then go back to the TV. Maybe he was upset with something at work today. Edge was always way to hard on him, even if he was a lazy sack of bones. Casting a glance to the side I can see he’s looking away now. 

Now’s my chance!

I slide over and nuzzle into his side and get under his armpit. Demanding physical affection as I hadn’t had any in days as everyone had been so busy. Red makes a choking noise as I do so but, makes no move to push me away. So it appears the gesture is welcome. Slowly he turns so I can lay on his stomach and he can rest his chin on my head. Oh no he’s warm! That’s good though as the heating broke a couple days ago. But now I might not get up. Even if Edge comes storming in again…

Why couldn’t we have more moments of love and affection like this?  
Maybe because the gods are cruel mistresses, and throw us all into horrible situations.  
But I’ll sure as hell take what I can get with these edgy boys.  
Shoot, the door slams open and Edge makes a grand entering just as we settle down.  
Wouldn’t have it any other way though.

.  
.  
.  
*R E S E T  
.  
.  
.

Stretch sits in the booth across me. Making stupid puns and jokes as we waited for Blue. “ you sure are sweet. “ I kid around while pouring a sugar packet into my tea. Getting to the surface had been hard, but most certainly worth it. Most certainly during moments like these when he lets out a low chuckle and a soft, hardly noticeable blush covers his cheekbones. God, he’s adorable when he’s really relaxed. Slowly I see his hand reach out to lightly grasp mine. “ Well, I think you’re bee-utiful. “ and a sly grin crosses his face. Damn it, how does he know how to pull my strings? 

I open my mouth to respond but, just as I do Blue so happens to enter. “ Brother! Human! “ he begins as his slips into the seat beside the taller skeleton. “ I am so sorry! The Magnificent Sans had gotten lost! And the highway was packed! “ as he adjusts himself in his seat Stretch pulls his hand away from mine. It leaves a slight awkward coating between us. Nothing I couldn’t be rid of with a few stupid jokes though. “ It’s k Blue babe. “ I said with a wink. He blushes a little but, says nothing on it. The cafe was bustling with life around the three of us. Rich and wonderful smells filled my nose and the air around us. The lighting just right to give the small place a calm and relaxing mood. 

As a conversation starts again I throw a few more stupid pick up lines his way and Blue somehow gets Bluer. This makes Stretch laugh and tease the older. “ I am not blushing! “ he denies and this causes the other two to just laugh harder. “ Ugh! “ “ Ah come on bro, we’re just havin’ a lil’ funnn. “ Stretch drags out the last letter for a effect. Blue refuses to respond to that plea and I only laugh harder. These two boys are a hoot when flustered. After awhile of being silent and watching me and Stretch conversate he takes the moment to scold the older for his puns.

Oh my god, did he… did he like that at all?  
Me ‘flirting’ with him???  
A small giggle escapes me at the silly idea.  
Nah, probably not.  
It’s all just in my silly little head.  
After all  
I’m not worth much.  
.  
.  
.  
*R E S E T  
.  
.  
.

“ Mutt! What are you doing to the human? “  
Dang it, we forgotten that Rasp was home from work sooner than normal on thursday nights. I dangled in the air surrounded by dark orange magic. For fun and giggles he had lifted me off the ground and into the air by many a pleading request. The shock of the door being slammed open and the new harsh voice caused Mutt’s magic to stutter. I almost fell until he let out a grunt and grabbed the back of my shirt before I could hit the floor. “ What in the f- What is going on in here!?!” Rasp demands with a stomp of his foot. Crossing his arms and glaring almost like a child would. But neither me nor Mutt would dare say a word hinting towards that. Rasp’s rage wasn’t one we wanted to tango with at the time.

“ We were just messin’ round hun, nothing too extreme! “ I try to assure him as Mutt lowers me to the ground. Damn, walking is hard after that so i stumble a step or two before regaining total balance. “ Ugh! All you two ever do is sit around and do nothing! “ he scolds and takes a few steps towards us, hands shifting to his hips. “ I’m getting really tired of it! I may have to punish the two of you! “ Mutt chokes at this statement and looks to me. He appears… embarssed? Probably because it was also directed at me.

I can’t help be chuckle softly. “ Oh r e a l l y now, buddy? “ I challenge playfully, but I don’t think he picked up on that too much. “ Yes! Really! You- “ “ Oh hush you! “ I cut him off and walk over, only to wind my arms around his neck. “ Jesus, how bad was work that you’re already on us about being lazy? “ I inquire. A lot harsher than intended so to make up for it I nuzzle into the side of his neck. Rasp is the choking one now. Huh, well, Mutt’s always been more open to physical affection so this isn’t all too much of a shock.

I could’ve sworn I saw Mutt smirk at the interaction from the corner of my eye.  
These edgy boys are adorable when flustered hehe…  
Oh my g o d his face is turning purple, this is rich.  
Wonder what would happen if I kissed him?  
.  
.  
.  
*R E S E T  
.  
.  
.  
Why  
Why  
Why  
Why   
W h y  
W H Y  
Why does it all just…  
*R E S E T  
Everytime I approach a good ending, one where i’m truly happy It just disappears. Why do they do this? Why do they tear everything good away from me?  
I was so close god w h y do they alWayS  
…  
*R E S E T  
It’s not worth it to bother and try to *SAVE them all  
Or fall in love over and over again  
Just to have my heart shattered and them ripped away  
I’ll just lay here at the start  
Hoping that the buttercups will consume me too, as they once did the fallen human before me.  
*R E S E T  
Just let the darkness take me  
It’s not use fighting against unseen forces  
If you can hear me, Chara, Frisk  
Whatever deity-like figure is out there  
Making us all suffer so bad p l e a s e  
I Give up  
You win  
*R E S E T  
But nothing ever changes  
* R E S E T  
And it never will  
*R E S E T  
I’ll lose them all over and over  
*R E SE T  
And over again…

*RESET


	6. Burnt Potatoes (Grillby x Lil)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some fluff with a little bit of funny banter with a Brotherly Sans at the end.
> 
> I get me some Grillby lovin' w00t
> 
> follow me on tumblr: @imagine-your-potato

The fireman serving the bar looked rather nice tonight. Or maybe it was the five rounds of strawberry vodka mixed with sprite making this so. Laying over the booth I simply watched him and his fluid movements. Tonight he had put on an fancier version of his attire. Now the vest was covered in a beautiful golden pattern while his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. Always he looked nice to run his bar. Even underground and to put it simply he always looked rather hot. Then again it could just be the drinks that haven’t left my system yet.

Lying over the table in my booth I just stared at him. The longer I did so I noticed his flames shone a bit brighter and lapped up higher. Was this flustering him? I didn’t know, everything is fuzzy and tingly. The high pitched noise that sounds when he wipes down a portion of the counters reaches my ears. It resembles a little squeak. It’s quite funny actually. He wiped that portion of the table only five minutes ago. And it’s the one closest to me. Though I wouldn’t flatter myself with the idea. Sure, I looked half decent in my red and flower patterned joggers with a black tank top but, I wasn’t all too stunning. There couldn’t be any attraction there.

Or is there?  
Huh, I’m too buzzed for this.  
But he’s not bad looking.  
Not bad looking at all.  
Jesus Christ Lil, pull yourself together.  
Oh my g od is he comingoverhereohholyshi-

The bar wasn’t entirely empty but, it didn’t look as if anyone would be ordering or coming in soon. Mostly due to the time of night. Grillby tended to close the bar towards 12:30 or 1am during the weekdays. Then the weekends keep it open a few hours longer. Being wednesday it was going to be the former time rather than the latter.

So, it meant Grillby finally had a moment to slip over to the young human that had been drinking and staring longingly at him all night. It actually wasn’t the first time a scenario like this happened. Nope, it in fact happened every Wednesday and Friday night. For the past few months the human known as ‘Lil’ had come in and gotten the same drink mix. Laying over the same booth for the same amount of time, over and over. Watching him. He could’ve sworn at least once they had shot him a compliment. But that had been a while back if it had happened at all.

Sitting across from them he pushed up his glasses. Giving the buzzed human a minute to process his arrival before speaking in his deep, crackling voice. “ Hello, Lil, is it? “ he inquires. Trying to sit up and shake off my stupor as best as I could. “ uhhhh, y-yeah? Wow, hey, you’re a cutie. “ I say in return. He coughs into his hand before offering thanks for the compliment.

W h y  
W h y yy y y y  
Why am I like this please end my life  
This is why I’m always single oh my g0d

“ You aren’t bad looking yourself. “ he says back with… did he… did he just wink at me? Damn I must be pinker than a carnation at this point. Me and hot men (in both forms of the word) do not mix well when it comes to socializing as i’m an awkward, rambling, flustered stump. But for some reason he continues in making small talk with me. About life, common interest, and I even get a small chuckle from him. Damn, maybe this wasn’t too terrible of an idea. This went on for the next forty five minutes. 

Oh, hey, that’s fifteen minutes after his latest closing time. Why is he wasting time on me? I’m literal trash.  
Wait why is he looking at me like that?  
Oh n0  
D i d I j u s t-

Grillby furrows his brow at me. “ No, you are not trash. “ he states firmly as he leans over the table and places a hand under my chin. “ I find your company rather enjoyable, you’re very sweet, even if you aren’t entirely here. “ he mutters the last part, but it seems half hearted and joking. Leaning in he places a warm kiss on my forehead after using his spare hand to clear away strands of hair from the area. “ th...thanks. “ I say softly and he smiles down at me.

“ It’s very late, would you like me to walk you home? “ he offers first, then as I tilt my head at the offer he scrambles to explain his words. “ I, um, I well, well we aren’t underground anymore and there are some shady figures in this part of town late at night. As you don’t seem too stable right now I- “ cutting him off with a giggle I assure him it’s fine, and yes I could wait a minute or two for him to officially close down the bar for the night. 

Slowly he hurds what few people remained out the door and began shutting off the lights. Turning off the heating, ovens, and unplugging various things to save powers. Once he was done he turned to me. Leaning against a wall beside the I waited for his. Occasionally running my fingers through my hair to smooth out the messy tangles that had formed. “ Are you ready? “ he inquires while offering his arm. This is so sweet, cheesy, and borderline old fashioned but, I didn’t really care. He was warm and it would prevent me from stumbling.

So I did indeed wrap my arms around his. Opening the door for me I was escorted home. Papyrus was probably incredibly worried and stressed out by my absence this late at night. I’d forgotten to tell him where i was too. Definitely not the smartest move on my part. Though walking home in the cold fall night with a handsome flame monster was a good trade off for the scolding I was bound to get for my shenanigans.

Oh, we’re already here. I had been so lost in my thoughts I hadn’t noticed. “ Thank you, Grillby. “ He nods at my thanks and places another soft kiss on my forehead. “ Come back this Friday, yes? “ “ Wouldn’t miss it for the world. “ thank god we only lived a couple blocks away from each other. Otherwise I would’ve felt insanely guilty for forcing him to walk me at all. The experience was nice though, I wouldn’t complain (plus I had walked there to be begin with, not taking a car so it was better than walking alone.). “ Better hurry in, they must be a little worried by now. “ he suggested as he unhooked his arm from mine and began to turn away. “ Eh, yeah, goodnight though, get back safely! “ I told him with a scolding tone that made him chuckle. “ Oh, alright, Goodnight Dear. “

I waved at him as I pulled out my key to the house and opened the door. Instantly I was greeted by Papyrus who almost looked like he gained a year worrying over me again. Assuring him that yes, it was alright and, no Papy hun I wasn’t kidnapped I just got a little buzzed at the bar. Which caused him a little alarm but, as it was so late he gave up and only said I needed to be home sooner. 

Finally after fifty more minutes of soothing Papyrus and annoying him with puns (assisted by Sans, of course) I made them both go to bed. Because oh my g o d it’s 2:57am and you guys have work tomorrow you need to r e s t. Neither of them bothered to fight back and Papyrus carried the lazy sack of bones Sans up the stairs. Collapsing down on the couch my much more clear mind began to think over what I could remember of the nights events. God, I had made a fool of myself many times…

But it got him to laugh though  
And holy crap I got smooched by the hot flameman t w i c e  
T w i c e people ohmygodthatactually-  
Wait…  
He  
He called me ‘dear’  
W h a t

As I was internally squealing over how basically senpai noticed me i failed to see Sans shortcut beside the couch. Leaning on the back he rested his head on his hands and smirked down at me. “ Heya kiddo, what’s goin’ on in flusteredville? “ he asks teasingly. Ripping me away from my fangirling to pap his arm gently in response. “ It’s none of your business you lazybones! “ I use the punny nickname Papyrus had given him. “ With that look on your face, It must’ve been something over than the booze that made ya that happy. “ he states, narrowing his eyes playfully towards me.

“ Who are ya seein’?”   
“ S a n s oh my god it isnt-”   
“ Come on kiddo, ya can tell me. “  
“ So you can go terrorize the poor man?!?”  
“ Oh, so it’s a ‘he’ not a ‘she’, gotcha. “  
“ S A N S JUST GO TO B E D”

“ Nope, not until ya tell me. “ He says stubbornly, after a litte bit more of this banter I realize his determination is alot stronger than mine, so i give. “ Listen, you know I’ve all over Grillby since day 1. “ I decide not to give anymore facts, and let him string the pieces together himself. As it finally clicked in his head his eyelights began to glow brighter. A mischievous undertone to them. Oh, what have I done. “ Hehehehe, so t h a t s why ya went to the bar tonight, I see how it is- “ “ Just go to b e d oh my god haven’t you pestered me e n ou gh” He chuckles at my cut off. “ Oh Lil, ya know that isn’t ever possible. “ Sitting up to push his arms out from beneath him so it forces him to stand correctly I glare half heartedly. “ S a n s It’s past 3am go to b e d. “

“Awwwww, come on I’m not that tire- “  
“ S A N S I AM GOING TO S L A P Y O U “  
But we both knew I wouldn’t follow through on that threat.


	7. It's Lit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Lit

“ It’s Lit. “  
They say in an upbeat tone and the entire room freezes. Struck by fear that oh god, n o, please not again. Not another month of that god forsaken phrase. Edge puts his head on the table and s c r e a m s because if it. Many other Papyrus Personalities followed a similar route of visibly showing their dread. Geno goes as far as to stand up and leave the godly long table made to seat the entire harem. And I swear Jack choked on his piece of corn.

“... What… What did you say, Sweetheart? “ G shoots Lil a weary look as they turn to him and say again,  
“ It’s Lit! “  
Babies are crying, Children are screaming, the world is officially ending and everyone is losing it. Several fish women and energetic skeletons make a ruckus. While Sans shortcuts out of the area before it start again.

Let me explain,  
Four months ago, for three weeks straight all Lil had said was “ It’s Lit “ in various tones and expressions. That and nothing more. It had drove everyone crazy and Reaper and Ink returned to the void and anti-void to escape the entire nightmare of a situation. Horror and several other rough and mean variations like Dust and Killer had fled into the darker parts of the forest to get away.

Now, it was happening again.  
“ OH LIL FOR THE LOVE OF G O D! “ shouts an annoyed Blackberry. All he gets in return is a cheeky smile and a glint in his human partners eyes. Oh n-  
“ It’s L i t. “   
Undyne grabs her chair and throws it towards the nearest window, making her escape from his terrible crack fic. A couple other follow behind her, even though it’s literally pouring rain outside. Fellby voices his annoyance with this as water trickles in. Ane he elects to also exit.

“ It’s lit.”  
“ S TO P RIGH T N OW”  
“ IT’S LIT”  
“ LIL I SWEAR TO G OD I’LL KILL YO-”  
Suddenly, it’s as if a demon is screeching at them from hell once more.  
“ I T ‘ S L I T “  
And the lights go out, because a bolt of lightning struck the power box in this god awful storm. But they don’t know this so it causes even more of a panic. Everyone is beyond done with this hellspawn and it hasn’t even been five minutes. As everyone starts either running away from this meme or taking advantage of the darkness to start a fist fight, Lil leans back in their seat smirking.

“... its lit. “

God has forsaken us all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sorry


	8. Ascension

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A camp camp chapter, oh boy  
> It's horrible, god save us all  
> Well, enjoy i guess, I don't think anyone reads this  
> oh, btw I moved to the-sweet-shop on tumblr, shoot me an ask, eh?

She was beautiful.  
Every time his name rolled out of her lip, his heart fluttered or almost stopped.  
Her touch drove him to the brink of insanity.  
When she leaned in for a kiss he felt like he had reached ascension.  
No, That isn’t right.  
She was his ascension.  
His light and love.  
His sweet, gentle little gem.  
No one could take her from him, ever.  
It was just that simple.

That’s why he stood over his little red headed counterpart, knife held high.  
Gleaming brightly as the moonlight struck it at an odd angle.  
David begged for him to see reason and spare his life, offering to leave the young girl and let him have her.  
What a coward, not even standing up for what he thought was his.  
It was the one thing that drove him batty about the green eyed man.  
Never had he really, truly stood his ground to him.  
And as he swung downward harshly, blood splattering the woods around him.  
It appeared he would never have the chance to.  
Oh well, that didn’t matter.  
Just as long as he could have her.

 

This is the part he utterly despised with his entire being.  
Daniel could tolerate the pestering questions of the police.  
Cleaning up the mess he had made for her.  
Hiding the body and making sure no trails were left behind as he pinned it on Campbell.  
…  
But the one thing that drove him mad?  
Seeing those precious little tears fall from her beautiful grey eyes.  
Wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into his chest he tried to offer her some comfort.  
It almost made him regret the whole ordeal.  
Almost.

“ Oh my love, don’t worry. “  
He chimes soothingly, lightly kissing her forehead.  
“ I’ll always be here for you! “  
And with those words Daniel was certain that he had captured her heart once more.  
This time though, his silly copy wouldn’t be around to steal it away.   
Little Lilly was all his.  
No one else could ever have her. 

…  
Daniel was in his own personal heaven now that David was gone.  
It had taken a long time to finally win her over.  
But damn, had it been worth it.  
To see her now stealing his large white sweaters, and proudly romping about in them.  
Snuggling into his side and softly giggling.  
Giving him deep kisses, not tearing her gaze from his.  
Gently cleaning and tuning his fiddle for him in a display of affection after a fight.  
Clinging to him day and night, not willing to let him out of her sight.  
All of this made his heart soar and sometimes he even verbally swooned over her.

Though there was many a day she laid in bed missing that stupid copy  
With each passing day she seemed to let go of him more, and more.  
And latch tightly onto him,  
Both figuratively and literally.  
And as many months came and went it was very clear.  
The cultist had won his angel.  
And nothing was going to take her from him anytime soon.  
No.  
He wouldn’t ever let her go now, she had fallen into his trap.


End file.
